Romance (the genre) is in the air!
Plus, 10 pieces of practical advice I've now learned about writing romance novels; and links to all the romance reviews I've recently been writing
Originally published at the Jason Pettus newsletter through Substack on January 20, 2023, and republished here at this website on January 20, 2024.
Hello and happy new year! A whole lot of new people have signed up for this newsletter since its last issue way back in October, so let me take a moment and reintroduce myself. I'm Jason Pettus, a freelance book editor and former small-press owner based out of Chicago, and this newsletter is my way of gathering a literary community around me and my editing work, despite the fact that I don't work for a traditional press anymore and can't build a community around me in that more traditional way. I mostly use it to highlight my clients and other newsletter subscribers who are authors or publishers, bringing some attention to a new project worth your time while also getting their opinions on what worked for them from a marketing and business standpoint and what didn't.
On weeks I don't have a profile like that, I then share a long essay I've written about some sort of literary issue or another, whether that's writing advice, advice about the business of publishing, or tips on how to become a paid freelance book editor yourself. I also share links to all my latest book reviews at Goodreads, because I write a lot of them; and then I also share the most interesting questions I've come across since the last newsletter among English as a Second Language students over at Reddit, within subreddits full of clever questions such as r/WhatsTheWord. I'm shooting for a new issue once every other Friday in 2023, but I've already missed one deadline and we haven't even finished January yet, so that lets you know what that number will probably be like by the time we reach the end of this year.
I've had a really interesting development in my professional life since the last issue, which is that I'm starting to pick up a large number of new clients who are specifically romance novelists, and who specifically try to write a quick 50,000-word story once a month for sale exclusively at Amazon's Kindle Unlimited program. As we've discussed in previous issues, this is where you pay 10 bucks a month and then have unlimited access to several million titles in the Kindle Store, encouraged to get through as many of them as you possibly can in those 30 days, and then Amazon takes all those 10-dollar subscriptions, adds together the collective royalties, then disperses them through algorithmic-derived percentages based on how many pages of your book got read that month by Kindle Unlimited's several million members.
KU struggled when it first opened, because what rapidly became clear is that the program doesn't actually contain any mainstream books whatsoever, which means you won't get anything off your actual reading list through KU, or find any popular titles at all; indie lit in particular does horrible in the KU program, and when I tried it as a small press owner back in the mid-2010s, I was only making cents per book each month, in the style of an unknown singer with a non-existent audience uploading their songs at Spotify. But what I've learned from a growing amount of my genre clients here in the 2020s is that they're actually making so much from those percentage-based payouts from the entire KU subscriber base, it's essentially the same kind of money as if they were selling them in a traditional way, one copy at a time to one reader at a time. Apparently a lot of other people discovered that at the same time, and now a little more mature KU program has finally found its stride, now promoting itself as a home for genres whose fans are particularly known for reading an entire book per day because their fandom is so passionate (in other words, genres like crime, young adult, science-fiction, fantasy, romance and women's erotica, among others), and creating an entire cottage industry now of part-time genre authors who are cranking out Kindle-exclusive titles for almost no money at all (by making smart business decisions like buying premade covers for cheap, having their fans proofread and beta-read the final version, etc.), which means that the profit margin on this digital intellectual property is almost 100%, the only "cost" being the brain-hours of sitting down and writing the 50,000-word story that month in the first place.
I gotta say, it's a fascinating world, and I find myself falling more and more into this rabbit hole of publishing that so few industry professionals understand or even maybe know exist. So that's had me reading a bunch of romance novels myself (11 in the last 20 days, in fact), all of which I've written reviews for, which I'll link to at the end of today's issue, because I'm trying to study up on the genre as much as I can so that I can be of the most help possible as a "storytelling expert" to my existing and coming romance clients. That's had me thinking about the "rules" and "tropes" and "traditions" of this genre as well, and I've come up with for now (and probably more in the future) ten very specific pieces of advice for all romance novelists that will hopefully improve their books, no matter which specific subgenre within romance they write in (but more on this in a moment).
I also have a chat with one of these clients, the BDSM and "outlaw biker romance" specialist Kay Freeman, coming in the next issue, as well as a whole bunch of other great talks in the coming weeks with clients with recently completed projects (I heard from something like seven or eight of them over the holidays expressing an interest, after I sent out a feeler to everyone around Thanksgiving; to let me know of your own interest in having your project featured here in this industry-heavy newsletter, especially your willingness to talk about what worked for you and what didn't from a financial, business and marketing standpoint, drop me a line at ilikejason@gmail.com). For now, though, let me leave you with...
How to Write a Great Romance Novel Without Needing to Stick to a Script
10 pieces of practical advice that transcend specific subgenres
1. The cardinal, most important rule in romance writing, one that must be present in every book that exists no matter what its subtype, is that there must be longing, in whatever way this manifests. The frisson that always makes romance interesting (in fiction and in real life) is the uncomfortableness of wanting something badly and not getting it, and so it's this sensation that provides the fuel that makes the engine of a romance story's three-act structure run efficiently. So in a Regency romance, for example, perhaps this longing is a chaste kind, smoky glances across the ballroom while the Mozart minuet politely plays in the background. Or in an erotic story, perhaps it's more literally that the main character really wants it badly (you know, it), but hasn't yet gotten it (you know, it!). Or perhaps it's a contemporary human interest dramedy, and the object of our protagonist's desire is married or lives halfway across the world, or maybe is known only through social media, or maybe is the owner of a rival business who the protagonist is actually in a fight with, etc. etc. No matter how it's manifesting, it's this yearning for the thing they don't have that sets the heart on fire of any romance fan, and it's for this reason that they're ultimately reading, no matter which subtype of romance they like the most.
2. The cardinal, most important rule in any writing, no matter what the genre, is that the story must be fueled by conflict, as much as possible and as often as possible. Conflict drives storytelling, pure and simple, and anytime you've ever come across a story that seems to drag in the middle, that's always because there aren't enough problems going on or enough trouble happening. That's what makes the best romance books so gripping, because longing and conflict are closely related concepts, so combining them in the perfect way produces a story as tempting as crack, and gets you lots of happy "addicts" who will gladly come back month after month for more.
3. Your romance story can really benefit by making the first half a "will they won't they" (WTWT) tale of flirtation, whether that's clever and funny in nature or serious and intense. Although your readers will already know that the chances are most likely the couple will end the story "happily ever after" (HEA), they'll still enjoy pretending at the start that this isn't a foregone conclusion, if you write these early scenes with the strong combined sense of longing and conflict mentioned above. This also gels with a common storytelling rule that at least I believe in, and I suspect many other people believe in as well; that in a typical three-act novel, the halfway point is where it's revealed what the story is really about. In romance, this is primarily about a couple trying to get together and make a relationship work, hopefully living happily ever after—so the 50% point would be where it's officially revealed that the two people are going to try to make it as a couple, whether that's just a mental promise at that point or the couple has actually gotten together by then, whether they've declared it to each other or only in their own heads so far. The second half of the story, then, is about all the conflicts that might keep their relationship from working out, leading to the climax, the resolution, and the HEA.
4. If your erotic dialogue sounds like it could be convincingly said by a frat bro, leave it out of a romance novel. There's nothing wrong with aggressive sexual language, but there's a way to do it that's not inherently insulting, abusive and dimwitted. If you can picture two young straight white males high-fiving each other after saying it, then rewrite it.
5. Unless you're specifically writing something like a "Kindle Single" that everyone knows in advance is just a short story being sold as a standalone ebook, make sure your romance story has a full three-act structure and interesting plot. Googly-eyes and long sighs do not an effective novel make on their own; no matter what the storyline, it still has to be an interesting one for the book to be an interesting read. Romance is like crime fiction in this regard, in that either can be set within a large selection of broader genres, like Westerns, sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction, and a lot more.
6. Romance books are deliberately supposed to be outrageous and over the top. There, I said it. That doesn't mean you can't write realistic character dramas set in contemporary times within the genre, but just that any tropes featured in that subtype should be cranked up to eleven, even if that's only the intensity of the emotions. But of course, much more common in romance is the outrageous types of details that are truly outrageous, whether those are mafia stories or outlaw biker ones (specialties of two actual clients of mine), ones set in fantasy worlds or sometimes science-fiction ones, or perhaps Gor-type "Conan the Barbarian"-esque environments that cleverly combine the two. Don't be afraid to turn everything up to eleven in your own romance stories or women's erotica; that's exactly where you should be with it.
7. Embrace the details of whatever milieu you've chosen to set your story in, to the extent of perhaps hiring someone just to do fact-checking of your stories and a listen to whether dialogue sounds period-specific. A romance set in a specific time and place needs to primarily be a story about that time and place, with the romantic elements added as a bonus on top; but no amount of heaving bosoms in the world will save a Western or Regency story that contains modern slang or inaccurate descriptions of clothing.
8. The men in romance novels are a perfect combination of everything a woman ever wants a man to be, traits displayed only one at a time at the exact best moments for the woman to witness them—forceful and sexually aggressive one moment, reticent and intimate the next, a slave to traditional gender norms who nonetheless has a progressive view of women's rights, and who inherently understands regarding any particular issue in a woman's life which side he should come down on and which exact right moment in her life he should do so, almost as if having the magical ability to read her mind 24 hours a day. (Jesus, no wonder dating in your twenties is so difficult.) Is that fair to the hundreds of millions of actual men who actually live in the real world, who mostly try to do what's right but could never in reality be the everyman for every occasion at the exact right moment like a mind-reader? No, of course not, which is why 95% of the audience for romantic fiction is women. Great romance authors get this, and take pains to make their male romantic heroes not this type of guy or that type, but rather every guy for every occasion who can slip in and out of roles at the exact right moment for our female romantic hero to most be impressed, attracted or aroused by, depending on the occasion.
9. Stop thinking that your free introductory book, the one you give out in return for people joining your newsletter (known in marketing-speak as an author's "lead magnet"), should be your worst or your smallest book of your whole oeuvre. If this is to be the very first thing a new reader of yours reads, and will be the sole determinant of whether they stick around for more and eventually become a fan, you should be offering the best book of your career, not your worst or slimmest.
10. If all else fails, have the MLC (male lead character) wash the hair of the FLC (female lead character) in the bathtub. Ladies love it when their boyfriend washes their hair—it's so far shown up literally in 100% of the books I've now read, 11 out of 11, no matter which subgenre it fit in, whether the tamest clean Christian romance or the darkest "reverse harem" graphic pornography. Ladies love it when their boyfriend washes their hair. Yeah, guys, I don't get it either.
This Week's Reviews: Romance (The Genre) Is In The Air Edition
I wasn't kidding about all the romance novel reviews! Here's them all! I'm trying to add at least one piece of practical advice about writing romance fiction inside each review, because I've been thinking about releasing a whole book of them at a certain point and selling it specifically as an advice book to romance novelists. I'll break them down by type for you below, because that's a crucial part of understanding this genre, is understanding that the tropes are both so standard and so unique by now that often books just lead with this information before ever even mentioning the title or synopsis, and so it's been broken down into an infinite amount of pithy terms and abbreviations. I'm going to list these according to my scores, high to low...
Cecelia Mecca's The Blacksmith is historical fiction, set in the Robin Hood "Evil King John" period of 1200s England. It's great, because first and foremost it's a great Game Of Thrones-like tale, and only a great romance afterwards. It's also known as an "instalove" book, in that when the FLC first meets the MLC, their hearts both instantly go aflutter and they find themselves instantly falling in love with each other.
Drusilla Swan's Sold to the Master Vampire is one of two erotica tales I've now read that got 5 stars purely from how filthy and prurient the sex scenes are. People, there's a lot of darkness going on in the world of women's erotica that you know nothing about. A Joss Whedon-worthy universe and mythos, married to X-rated sex scenes often involving terrified former mousy secretaries now being kept against their will in cold, dark vampire sex prisons. Yeah, she went there!
Lexi Lovejoy's Knocked Up By the Dom is the first of my romance freelance clients to get a book actually published and out (or at least the first who has explicitly given me permission to mention her publicly; never forget, a good 70% of the books I edit each year are done under a confidentiality clause, meaning I'm not allowed to mention the author or title by name in public), so, professional disclosure, of course I'm going to think highly of it. But seriously, it's great! Deliberately outrageous "mafia fairytale" that all of you who are into romance for its over-the-top elements will love, love, love.
Lizzy Bequin's Their Human Vessel is the other title getting 5 stars merely from the quality of the sex scenes, in this case an ultra-prurient genre I wouldn't have even thought existed in woman-focused books, basically a way to safely engage in dark fantasies about aggressive group sex by imagining the male leads as paranormal creatures who are "driven" to "breed" with whatever "mate" happens to be closest, but is also a nice and caring guy and so will without a doubt wash her hair in the bathtub after the aggressive group sex is over (known alternatively in RomanceLand as "reverse harem" stories, "fated mates," "why choose," "compelled to breed," "imprinting," "knotting," "dubious consent," "the omegaverse," and even more, depending on which aspect is being emphasized, how intense the sex is, if there is or isn’t hunky eight-foot-tall blue-skinned aliens involved, etc.). Unfortunately, her follow-up, Wounded Omega, wasn't nearly as fun, basically a scaled-back, tamer and less logical version of the previous title.
Candy Quinn's Shipwrecked Beauty is pretty good, but in hindsight I can see is also not outrageous enough for its outre concept: A model and Hollywood wannabe agrees to be Harvey Weinstein's sex slave during a week-long yacht cruise, but a shipwreck flings her together with a hulking, barely literate worker on the ship, who blackmails her into having rough, humiliating sex in return for his protection against both wild nature and the fellow castaway Weinstein creeps down at the beach.
Jane O'Roarke's unwieldy Eve Of The Fae: The Beginning: Thea is frustrating, because what's there is actually a quite well-done genre thriller, doing a lot of world- and mythos-building to present us an interesting and complex small town full of secrets; but since O'Roarke meant it as a lead magnet title, she actually writes it as a giant book-length first act to the coming trilogy, meaning no actual plot development here and not even the introduction yet of the MLC.
Ginger Busch's Dirty Americano, Ellis O. Day's The Voyeur, and Victoria Lewis's Wild Nights all suffer from a similar problem: all of them designed to be lead magnets themselves, the problem here is that they're simply too small, presenting just one erotic scene and with a little bit of exposition slapped onto the front of it, basically like taking a Penthouse letter and publishing it as a 99-cent Kindle ebook. That's fine if that's what you're looking for (and makes especially strong financial sense for a subscription service like Kindle Unlimited), but is just not my cup of tea, especially since most of these ultra-quick, ultra-cheap titles are only written in a mediocre way to begin with.
And finally, Pearl Tate's Mate Exposed is a lot like Bequin's Their Human Vessel in terms of subject matter, but handles the setting worse, doesn't go far enough with her aggressive blue-skinned aliens, and provides way too complicated a backstory to explain the frenetic amount of things going on.
And of course, let's not forget the questions I'm always answering from ESL students over at Reddit! This is a particularly great place to answer questions about English usage, because they're...you know, Redditors, clever and funny teenagers from around the world who ask clever and funny questions about the English language, and how native speakers might put things in that language. Here are the most thought-provoking discussions I've participated in since the last issue:
Why would someone use the term "coloring inside the lines" to describe a person's personality?
What's the difference between "respectively" and "respectfully?"
Do Americans really say "but I digress" in casual conversations?
Is the exclamation "What a time to be alive!" meant to be sincere or sarcastic?
How do you express that someone has quickly stopped by a house but without going in?
What's the difference between "title case" and "title style?"
Isn't there some famous American idiom for when something good comes from a bad thing?
What's a way to describe someone who cares too much about something that doesn't really matter?
If melancholy means sadness without any real reason, what's the word for happiness of the same kind?
That's it for this week, except of course as always to remind you that I'm accepting jobs as a freelancer right now, so please feel free to reach out if you're currently finishing up a manuscript and would like me to help you target and fix all its problems before self-publishing or sending to agents. I charge 1 cent per word for developmental editing, another 1 cent per word for copy editing (2 cents per word if you need both), for most situations with self-publishing authors. Don't forget, if you remind me that you're a newsletter subscriber when you book a job directly with me (as opposed to a third-party service like Upwork or Gatekeeper Press, which you can book me through too if you want, I don't mind), you automatically get 25% off your final bill, all subscribers and all jobs. It's my way of providing a substantial thank-you to people who continue subscribing and reading each issue, instead of just one free thing when you sign up and then nothing again. Booking a job with me is as simple as just sending me an email, no big online form-based complicated procedure required. No matter what the subject, I look forward to speaking with you over at ilikejason@gmail.com.
